I´m thinking about Amy. I´m thinking about how incredibly wrong things can go. Some situations in life you should not gamble with. Some situations do not have an escape button. I did not know Amy, but I know the kind. There are many artists hanging on a thin thread, living in a lucid dream up to the point it will seem as reality, not realizing it has travelled far far from any signs of presence.
5 years ago I was working in London, taking a cab to the studio. Some cabdrivers are more talkative than others and this one, was a really nice and wordy man. He said he was the best friend of the father of Amy Winehouse. He explained how desperately worried he was for his daughter, and that he really tried everything, and there seemed to be no solution to save his daughter. It was almost like he said.." I know she will leave us earlier than expected". I got caught in the story, trying to understand what makes creative people tick, and what makes them wanna destroy for themselves. Like there is something in there saying, " you are not good enough to deserve all this, you are a lousy human being and most of all you need to be punished." The punishment in collaboration with the feeling of escape into another world go hand in hand.
The drugs are the liars telling us they will help you feel better, stronger, give you a feeling of owning the world and being able to do it ALL!. Just like you tell your self you have to, and just like the fans really want their artist to be. It´s a very complex thing, the psychology of a creative person. I mean people in general.....what do we know? who do we really know? do you really know yourself?
I did not know Amy, but somewhere along the line of her life, something triggered her to constantly get herself into trouble, and she never managed to break the pattern that made her make all these wrong decisions, that eventually ended her life. We don´t know what was going on in her mind, in her heart, in her body. All we know is that we have lost yet another terribly talented Artist. I bet she never really in her heart felt how incredibly good she was.
5 years ago I was working in London, taking a cab to the studio. Some cabdrivers are more talkative than others and this one, was a really nice and wordy man. He said he was the best friend of the father of Amy Winehouse. He explained how desperately worried he was for his daughter, and that he really tried everything, and there seemed to be no solution to save his daughter. It was almost like he said.." I know she will leave us earlier than expected". I got caught in the story, trying to understand what makes creative people tick, and what makes them wanna destroy for themselves. Like there is something in there saying, " you are not good enough to deserve all this, you are a lousy human being and most of all you need to be punished." The punishment in collaboration with the feeling of escape into another world go hand in hand.
The drugs are the liars telling us they will help you feel better, stronger, give you a feeling of owning the world and being able to do it ALL!. Just like you tell your self you have to, and just like the fans really want their artist to be. It´s a very complex thing, the psychology of a creative person. I mean people in general.....what do we know? who do we really know? do you really know yourself?
I did not know Amy, but somewhere along the line of her life, something triggered her to constantly get herself into trouble, and she never managed to break the pattern that made her make all these wrong decisions, that eventually ended her life. We don´t know what was going on in her mind, in her heart, in her body. All we know is that we have lost yet another terribly talented Artist. I bet she never really in her heart felt how incredibly good she was.
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